Christians have their own way of expressing their faith. Saying things like "Plead the blood of Jesus before you travel," or "Pray for a hedge of protection everyday." may sound like idiomatic expressions to non-Christ believers.
You'd be surprised at how ridiculous a conversation can sound between two Christians with the use of such unique phrases. What's more hilarious is when you see these freaky phrases posted on murals along Church walls! Check out some of the funniest Church phrases that will have you confused, amazed, and laughing out all at the same time.
1. The Lamb That Was Slain
Every church nursery has one of those murals on the wall of Jesus talking to kids while holding a baby lamb in His arms. I didn’t want that lamb to die. Sunday night services ended right around my bedtime, so the last thing I needed was to have the mental image of a sweet lamb being brutally slaughtered by demons. As a kid, when I heard everyone celebrating the murder of sheep, I really began to get nervous about taking friends from church to the petting zoo.
2. Washed in the Blood
If you tell a 10-year-old that he should be washed in blood, he’s probably going to imagine something closer to the opening scene of Blade than a loving Jesus who wants him to be happy forever. I pictured Jesus standing next to a giant bathtub that He was bleeding into while trying to make me dive into it like a Steven Curtis Chapman song in ’99.
3. On Fire for God
This one is still used quite a bit when describing those who are passionate about Christianity and/or wear a lot of Christian parody T-shirts. The problem is that we were taught to avoid fire from Hell, so why is God’s fire so much better? Can you guys just not burn me? Is that an option? One time I tried to start my dad’s propane grill and it blew a giant fireball into my face. Please don’t make me experience that again. I’ll never flirt with girls in Sunday school again, I swear.
Got your favorites? Share them with us!